Just How Did the Grinch Steal Christmas?

For every Who that loves Christmas, one question persists:

just how did the Grinch manage to steal all their gifts?

Some have suggested all the years on Mount Crumpit,

Mr. Grinch did much more than just practice his trumpet.

Perhaps he practiced lifting things twice as heavy as he

like sporkings, and twigglings, and stone rockling pine trees.

He spent years building up the strength to take it away,

and sweep up the presents from each Who Christmas day.

“That seems absurd and outrageous,” other Whos would call.

“Why that makes little to no sense at all.

He must have used a device of his own invention.

That’s how he did it without drawing attention.

He had plenty of time to design it up there,

scheming and plotting with the Whos unaware,

collecting his tools from the place they all dump it,

building his doohickey up on Mount Crumpit.”

“That could be, that could be,” said one savvier still.

“With so much at stake, I think I know the drill.

There was no training or building done by the Grinch,

it was really a RAM truck, with a 42-foot-winch.

You see I was the one who Mr. Grinch came to see,

that day when in Whoville he just happened to be.

He mentioned he had a large job coming up.

I considered it strange that he spoke so abrupt.

I drew up a deal for this good friend of mine,

I wrote it in ink, and signed on the line.

He was gone in a flash in his shiny, new pickup.

I had no idea of his plans for a Christmastime stickup.

Still on that fateful day, he indeed took it all.

Every last Christmas gift. Every bobble and ball.

When his thieving was through, he was back in a flash,

Plowing through snow with the presents all stashed.”

As the brave Who finished his Christmas confession

he did not expect his story’s impression

would be one of astonishment, shock, disbelief—

how could one truck do all that without any grief?

Suddenly Christmas did not seem so sad

since all the Whos down in Whoville knew there were RAMs to be had.

They rushed to the Larry H. Miller Used Car Supermarket

with plans for their new trucks and just where to park it.

So never mind that grinchy Grinch, and the crime he committed.

Let him have all his gifts. Let him think he outwitted

all the Whos down in Whoville with his sour, mean plot.

They turned Christmas around at the LHM lot

where the deals are outstanding and the service so grand

every staff member eager to lend a helping hand.

So come see why the Whos are so happy this year.

Visit Larry H. Miller for good holiday cheer.

Explore the whole inventory; you’ll see quite a bit.

Or come down to the dealership to get the right fit.